Resource: The Power of Awareness: Lessons from David Foster Wallace's "This is Water"

The following video is one that I feel as a Psychologist in Sydney resonates with me. It is one that I sometimes ‘prescribe’ patients to watch between sessions to get their thoughts on it. A part of being a psychologist is to sometimes bring attention to things that you might not realise. Many of my clients will have heard me express that “Sometimes you cant see the forest from the trees” and I feel like its unfortunately a normal part of Adult existence, particularly in a city like Sydney which is very busy.

The following video is a commencement speech by the late author, David Foster Wallace. The video offers a profound message on the importance of awareness and conscious choice in navigating the often-mundane realities of adult life. While not a traditional psychological discourse, Wallace's speech provides a powerful framework for understanding our own cognitive and emotional patterns, and how we can cultivate a more mindful and fulfilling existence.

The Parable of the Fish: What is Water?

Wallace begins with a short story: two young fish are swimming along when they are passed by an older fish who says, "Morning, boys. How's the water?" The two young fish swim on for a bit, and then one of them looks over at the other and asks, "What the hell is water?"

This simple parable serves as a powerful metaphor for the most obvious and important realities of life that are often the hardest to see and talk about. For many of us, the "water" is the fabric of our day-to-day lives – the routines, frustrations, and seemingly insignificant moments that we often fail to truly notice or appreciate. I believe as a psychologist, these moments is where most of the magic in live exist.

The Default Setting: The Tyranny of the Self

Wallace argues that our natural "default setting" is to be self-centered. This isn't to say that we are all selfish in a malicious sense, but rather that we experience the world through the lens of our own needs, desires, and frustrations. He paints a vivid picture of the daily grind of adult life – the traffic jams, the crowded supermarkets, the long checkout lines – and how our default setting interprets these events as personal affronts.

From this perspective, the other people in our way are not fellow human beings with their own struggles, but obstacles in our path. This self-centered view, Wallace contends, is a form of "unconsciousness" that can lead to a life filled with anger, frustration, and a constant, gnawing sense of loss.

The Choice of Consciousness: The True Meaning of Education

The central thesis of Wallace's speech is that we have a choice. We can consciously choose to shift our perspective, to see beyond our own self-centeredness and consider the world from a different point of view. This, he suggests, is the true meaning of education and the essence of real freedom.

It's not about being "right" or "moral," but about exercising the power to choose what we pay attention to and how we construct meaning from our experiences. We can choose to see the person who just cut us off in traffic not as a jerk, but as someone who may be rushing to the hospital. We can choose to see the screaming child in the supermarket not as an annoyance, but as a reflection of a parent's own exhaustion and stress.

Cultivating Awareness: A Path to a More Meaningful Life

This act of conscious and intentional shifting of perspective is a practice of mindfulness and empathy. It is the ability to step outside of our own heads and recognise the shared humanity in those around us. This is not a simple or easy task; it requires constant effort and a commitment to awareness.

The alternative, Wallace warns, is to be "unconscious" – to be swept away by the currents of our own unexamined thoughts and feelings, to live a life that is, in his words, "the rat race."

This is where working with a therapist can assist. Bringing attention to your day to day activities. What you think. What you do. How you react. What you believe. The small things can be where the greatest change and meaning can occur. Becoming Mindful, practicing reframing, and making decisions conscious.

You can watch the full speech here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eC7xzavzEKY